Grammy Fashion Review

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I am so underwhelmed at the gowns for the Grammys! When I think Grammys, I think of hip, modern dresses maybe some bright colors. Big hair and diamonds and a rollicking good time. The only dresses I like are Heidi Klum’s and Lea Michelle’s.

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Such a cruel trick of nature that Heidi Klum looks this good after giving birth to her fourth baby. Have a little respect, Heidi and at least wear something unflattering and shlumpy.

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Its lace, its futuristic, and its too much for my delicate sensibilities. Ciara, call me next time the awards show rolls around and I’ll find something flattering for you. This dress looks like a distant cousin to the one Britney Spears is wearing below.

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Lea Michelle is gorgeous, I dig the one shoulder and feathery bottom which is short but not too short. Is the gown navy blue and the shoes black? They should both be navy blue, its just the way it needs to be.

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I’m not a giant fan of tights or even worse, black panty hose (like L’eggs) but everything considered,  Jennifer Hudson looks good and I love the pop of bright pink lipstick!

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Pink looks like a Russian gymnast. A male gymnast at that. Tuck it.

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She looks like an angry Russian mobster’s mistress. I kid, I kid! Pink looks  much better. I love the colors of the dress and the diamonds, rhinestones and sparkles. I think I would have cut the dress off at the knee though, making it a wee bit more funky and modern. Maybe I watch too much Project Runway which incidentally, is coming out as a Wii game!

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Awww Britney Spears. I’m so glad she doesn’t have a bag of Cheetos in her hand. And no cut- off jean shorts! That’s good. But the dress, the fishnets and the shoes look like a Halloween costume from Party City. I really want to make her over and give her elegant clothes and pretty shoes and a nice hair style. Its my goal.

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Oh dear. I feel like I haven’t seen one dress that makes me leap out of my seat. Beyonce’s metallic noodle dress and Rihanna’s  feathered gown and woodpecker coif leave a little to be desired.  A LOT to be desired actually.

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No! I don’t like Jennifer Lopez’s dress either. It looks like half of it got caught in the car door. The center white part looks like the icing topping from a Hostess cupcake.

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Katy Perry looks too matronly in this flesh toned,  bejeweled number. Is it a Helen Mirren cast-off?

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No! The hair is attached to the dress! Oh Lady Gaga. But on a positive note,  I do like her eye-make up. She has the synthetic hair of a Barbie doll.

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Eh. Fergie looks good, but are those stains or water spots on her dress?

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Beyonce in another dress. Are these House of Dereon creations? I’m not inspired by either of them. She’s beautiful though, and her makeup and accessories go with the dress so she’s got that going for her.

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Part Colonel Sanders, part Ziggy Stardust with just a dash of Liberace thrown in (the sparkles of course), its Adam Lambert.

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Lady Cuckoo! You really have to appreciate the entire dress seen as a whole. The clunky shoes remind of those iron lung contraptions people used to sit in when they had tuberculosis back in the olden days. Whatever she’s holding can probably get good satellite reception and for that, I applaud her.

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