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ELLE Style Awards

Fabulous! Another event I wasn’t invited to. Well, since it was in New York, I’m not going to get too  upset. I’m sure my invite got lost in the mail…or my evite is lost in cyber space.

I love looking at what people wear. I dream about the outfit I’d don for such an event. This dreaming sent me over to Polyvore where I created my own ensemble:

I’m dying to try Kim Kardashian’s perfume. I caught a whiff as I entered Sephora but I’d like to take it for a test drive. As I planned my own outfit, I had to keep in mind the fact that I’m usually cold so I needed something with a bit of a sleeve. My shoes can’t flop off my feet. I need a bag to hold my various powders, blotting papers and lipgloss. False eyelashes are non-negotiable! A bright nail but a subtle lip. *sigh* I would have looked so good!

Agyness “Chad Rogers hair” Deyn wearing what I can only describe as Little Black Dress meets bathroom floor mat couture.  The dress is probably more expensive than anything I own. Probably? Definitely.

Carey “I dress like I’m sixty” Mulligan. I gave her a pass for her mature gown at the BAFTA’s but now we  need to have a serious talk! Carey is in  her early twenties, its time to vamp it up! Wear clothes from Forever 21 and have fun with fashion. Leave the covered arms, neck,  chest and demure hemline to the over fifty crowd!

Naomi “I’ll throw my cell phone at you” Campbellmaking a rare appearance. I say rare because I haven’t seen her out and about lately. Naomi is gorg and doesn’t look like she’s aging at all. I think we are the same age but she looks 100% better than me. I won’t  hold it against her because..I don’t want her mad at me.

Claire “I’ll steal your baby daddy” Danes. I’m not wild about the dress but she looks pretty. Love the hair color and her pink cheeks. I wonder what blush she’s wearing?

Leona “Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy” Lewis. Beautiful girl, amazing voice, love the lipstick not crazy about the cap. Her armpit makes me uncomfortable.

The Olsen “We’re billionaires!” twins. MK looks like Madonna here! I think she got a nose job-  I’m an expert at spotting them. Look at the difference in the twins’ noses. Ashley’s is rounded while Mary Kate’s looks scooped. No comment on MK’s  heavy black ensemble.

Kristen “I hate everyone and everything” Stewart.She looks so uncomfortable, doesn’t she? Unfortunatelyfor her, going to these events is all part of being a starlet! Don’t worry KStew, Im sure there’s wine around to ease the pain of making public appearances.

 

Claudia “I’m hiding my children under my dress” Schiffer.  We could all go camping under that voluminous gown! Unless she’s pregnant again, there’s no excuse- not even comfort!- for wearing such an  unflattering dress to an ELLE event. We must all suffer for fashion!

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